I began several sentences this morning. All of them were in a passive tense. I immediately deleted them. I have several ideas swirling around in my head. I have had an idea for a story bouncing around for a few years. Time to start putting it together. I have been away from creativity for a very, very (very) long time. I do not know where to start. I found myself starting sentences in a passive tense - which I thought was an interesting bit of subconscious behavior.

I will interject here: I've not been away from creativity. I experience creativity vicariously through my children and husband. I thought that was enough. I always claim, "I drive the car and write the checks." So I sing quietly in the shower or just enough to remind someone what the lyrics are to the song they're trying to remember. I write a nice turn of phrase and create a slogan for my company. I volunteer for everything.

Clearly, this is no longer enough to satisfy me. I have to turn inward and grab hold of what might be left of my creative drive. Time to pull it out of mothballs (see - how old is that image?? I may be suffering creative atrophy!)

I thought I could begin writing again if I gave myself a clear focus. Trouble is: I am having a helluva time deciding where to aim the lens. Plenty of things upon which to focus.

Something that strikes me as very funny. When I last thought about writing for creative ends, I was writing pen on paper or on a small, portable, electric typewriter. There was no "delete" key. In this post this morning I have deleted far more than I've left on this page. No evidence left of my stumbling. No more filling up the wastebasket with crumpled paper. I am a green writer. Yes, there are two ways to read that sentence.

stay tuned.