Life gives us signs.

I came home tonight having spent an hour or so talking with Dave about what on earth will we do with this business. We have options. We can sell it. We can take new jobs with the buyer. We can go live in a cardboard box. (maybe slight exaggeration). As we talked over a beer and 3 whiskeys we came to a (possibly temporary) conclusion that we really are not willing to roll over and let someone else dictate the rest of our professional lives. We may change our minds tomorrow, or when we see what the other offer might entail.

But then we got home. There was a big yellow envelope - return address was my mom. I quickly opened it - and there was one small note, " With love, mom." And there was a picture of my dad. A beautiful picture of this beautiful man. Casually leaning on the rail of the porch of the beach house we rented in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. A glass of wine in his hand, and that famous impish smile across his face.

I dissolved into tears. This gift from my mother is so very amazing on so many levels. One: my mom loves me and wants me to know that she and my dad are very proud of my endeavors as an entrepreneur - even during these hard times. Two: she loves me and wants me to call her - as I have been very distant recently due to my business problems. Sending this picture would break down my wall - crumble it into a bleary eyed mess. Three: I needed to be broken down a little so I can see more of the bigger picture. Four: I need to remember where I come from and that "you can't fail if you don't try." (something my dad used to say a lot).

This moment made that terrible grief wash over me again: I miss my dad so very much. He died on November 8, 2009. So I type and I weep.

And I think I may need to rethink my retreat. I may need to continue to move forward. With Dad here egging me on - what else can I do?